by Adam Saldivar
The Minarets FFA chapter recently held a canned food drive that not only brought in a large number of donations but also allowed donors to choose someone from the Minarets staff to kiss a pig named Chris P. Bacon.
The drive was set up in such a way that as donors came in with bags of canned food, they had the option to place their cans in a box designated for the staff member they wished to see kiss the pig. The staff member with the most cans in their box by the end of the drive would be declared the ‘winner.’ A variety of Minarets staff members volunteered to put their lips on the line, including Mrs. Mattes, Ms. Hall, Mr. Rubio, Ms. Palmer, Mr. Regonini, Mr. Mogila, Mr. Garner, Mrs. Chacon, Dr. Ching, Mrs. Alford, Mr. Land, Mr. Chavez, Mrs. McCoy, and Ms.Vogen.
After the final results were tallied, all staff participants were rounded up and eliminated round by one. As it came down to the final few standing, the ceremonies were paused to interview staff members on why they’d like to kiss the pig. Several interesting answers were produced.
Jessica Chacon, a counselor here at Minarets, answered, “I would love to kiss Chris P. Bacon because I am very attracted to his coat and his color.” Dr. Daniel Ching, the Minarets principal, replied, “I am very romantic...I like an evening with cheese and swine.” Meanwhile, English teacher Michael Land said, “I would like to kiss Chris P. Bacon because I'm not a vegan.”
History teacher Ben Regonini replied, “I don't know, I feel like I would be doing C.B a favor. I feel like he would get a lot of action.” English teacher Mikendra Mccoy offered a creative answer of her own. “I mean, they say when you have been married for a while you might want to trade him in. I'm hoping when I kiss the pig he might turn into a prince.” Last to answer was music teacher Brett Moglia, who took the opportunity to make some wordplay. “I would tell ya, but I don't wanna ham it up.”
The final round came down to Regonini, Ching, and McCoy.
Thanks to a last-second donor, both Ching and McCoy tied, and, consequently, both had to kiss the infamous Chris P. Bacon. Before the grand finale, Regonini gave both winners a piece of gum to freshen up while McCoy reapplied her lipstick.
Up first was McCoy, going in for a kiss, getting denied at first, but then giving a big ole smooch on Chris P. Bacon. Next up was Ching who rubbed Chris P. Bacon's head and went in for an unforgettable peck, not just once, not just twice, but three times.
In the end, the general consensus is that the first-ever hog kissing contest was a rather amusing event that brought in an abundance of donations and laughter.
Be sure to check out coverage of the event put together by FFA adviser Eduardo Rubio: